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going back on my word

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Yesterday was cd1. And I am in a bloody hell with the crimson wave. I am seriously in awe of what my body is doing right now...and not in a good way. And I'm having reminders of this time last year. My period has been increasing in its' intensity, length and pain. So...

This evening the Captain and I had a confab. One that I never thought we'd have to have again. And it revolved around two words: the pill.

I was on the pill for 10 yrs before I went quit taking the babyblocker in hopes of TTC. And I swore on my hair that I'd never go back on it. Never-Ever-Never.

Call me weak. Call me a traitor. Call me a sinner. You can call me whatever you want but we've decided to take the 'easy' route. But that doesn't mean it was an easy choice to make - believe me, we did not (and maybe still don't) see eye-to-eye about this issue. But since we're here now, things have changed. They are what they are....

and, I'll be swinging by my OBGYNs office to pick up some samples and a script.

Although I'm a tad reluctant and still a bit conflicted I am, selfishly, looking forward to the relief.


Jen J said...

Makes sense to me!

A person has to do what they feel is right for them and their situation. I don't think that a person can ever say "I would never..." because you don't know what lies down the road. I fully support you.

dana said...

^^ thank you so much, jen. you have no idea how much that means to me. i've shared everything with you about our situation and you never judge and i can't tell you how that makes me feel. you're, really really awesome! luv u!

Sarah said...

Dana, I just want to agree with Jen. I completely support your decision. You have to do what is right for you. I find now that whenever someone asks "Would you ever..." I always say "I don't know," no matter what they are asking about because if there is one thing I've learned on this journey, it is that some decisions turn out differently when you are actually experiencing something.