realization(s)

Back in November, I wrote this post. Two months later, I wrote this post.

I can tell you that since we had the talk, things have been unbelievably fantastic in our relationship. Don't get me wrong, we were fine before & we have a solid marriage. But now our relationship is different. I don't know how to describe it but I'm feeling very carefree these days. I feel like I've awoken from a dead sleep and have seen the world thru new eyes. I've stated before that somewhere along the way (TTC), I started losing myself.

But now I'm back. And it freakin' rocks! I realized that I was making my comeback *waves to crowd* on Thursday. I came home from work and I was positively giddy & beside myself. I couldn't stop laughing and smiling and dancing (& I can't dance). How sweet it was. How sweet it is...

I have been doing a lot of reading, searching & enjoying new music, more sewing & planning....er...daydreaming about our immediate (2yrs) future. I have even started a Vision Board for us (eventually, the Captain came around the the idea. He is not a big fan of Miss O and well, that's an entirely different story. But now he gets it and he likes it - just as I knew he would!). We've been together for 11 yrs but it's still interesting to see the things that he has on his side of the VB - none of it shocking but just "hmmm, really?" These are the things that we've been missing out on since TTC b/c we had put everything on hold using the rationale/excuse "what if we're pregnant?" and it was just an endless cycle of the same, over and over and over.

I'll probably be posting a few things on the blog from my side of the VB....admittedly, it's getting kind of crazy but that's just how I roll.

***

The only blog-worthy news I have is that my effin' ipod finally crashed and burned, I think. It won't turn on (I've charged it up but no dice) and I am pissed. Really, really not happy about this. A few months ago, my computer started acting up - moving slow and not allowing me to access folders. I'd put it on the back burner to take care of b/c of the Captains surgery and I've just been using his computer. ALL my music is on MY computer. ALL of it. I copied all my i.Tunes stuff into folders and even back-doored (shhhhh) a way to pull music from my pod & store it on my computer (about 2yrs ago, my PC crashed & I lost everything, so I had all my old stuff on my pod). But now, my computer and my iPod are done for, I think. I'm going to take in my CPU and see if the techies can do something. How sad is it that I don't give a damn about anything on that computer other than my music? 4000+ songs. Fuck.

ETA: My new mp3 player has been ordered and is on it's way....hells yea!

ETA: I have a post that I want to make private. And I don't want the entire blog to be private, just a particular post. Suggestions?