Went to see Master Pancake Theater - Forrest Gump this weekend and OMG...seriously, find out if it's showing near you and GO. NOW. Funniest thing I've seen in a LONG time. So good.

I leave for OH tomorrow morning - too early.

Finally ordered some stuff for my trip. Got a few cargo-style pants. Please sweet baby jesus let them fit, as I ordered them online and am NERVOUS. I know I'll have to have them hemmed but I can work with that.

Oh! Tried on a smaller size in jeans this weekend and nearly cried. They fit. I may or may not have done a little happy dance in the dressing room and there may or may not have been some shrieking involved. *lips sealed*

Also, I just wanted to say that you'll notice I took some things off my blog and rearranged others...if you have any questions about our IF experience or what we've done to date or whatever, shoot me an e-mail or leave a comment.

That's all for now...until laters...peace.

This week has been shitty. And I realize that my shitty and your shitty and Bob's shitty are all different....but yea. SHITTY. And all of it is work related. People, systems, deadlines...gah. I could go on. I'm just glad its almost over.

On a lighter note, my brother turns 14 tomorrow. I can't believe it! Fourteen. I turned 30 in August and I think the realization of that just hit me. Which means that my 1/2 birthday is coming up soon, too. And I'll be 6 months away from 31...holy shit. Lots to do between now and then...lots to do.

Homework tonight: 4min run, 3min walk x 6.

qui onques rien n'enprist riens n'achieva

btw...

this is what i did last night @ the gym...

4 min run, 3 min walk x 4
20 min walk @ 4.0 incline.

yea.

on books...

my reading for 2010 has already commenced...i've read these two books so far (they're part of a series): The Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. I can't wait until the 3rd book comes out in August....oh, Peeta! I need to know what happened to you!

i have these two on my night stand right now. i've started The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz and am a few chapters in. So far, so good. next will be Vinegar Hill by A. Manette Ansay <--i've heard mixed reviews about this one...we'll see.

i've also decided to re-read a few books this year.

i'll keep you posted.

The Layers, Stanley Kunitz

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
whereever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
"Live in the layers,
not on the litter."
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

there's not much to say. i've been really busy with work. going to be traveling (for work) soon and i'm dreading it...timing could not be worse. but i work better under pressure and stress, so it'll all work out.

making plans to go skydiving in april. can't wait. another notch on the list.

got tix to go see this hilarious lady. if you have never seen her show...i have no words. genius.

shopping and packing for the big trip here. 23 days.

and in case you're wondering, yes. i am still mourning the loss of both my teams. there's always next year, boys.

****

wow.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

-Oriah Mountain Dreamer

*i found this here a few days ago (after the author of the blog left a comment) and am still affected by it. i sense i will be for long while, as it makes me think about IF and so, so much more.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -Bill Cosby

Hola and happy 2010! I hope the New Year finds y'all doing well...

We went to a few parties on NYE...had a fun times with some old friends and made new friends. And that was that...lol. I don't really make resolutions, as I prefer not to set myself up for failure. And really, all I want for 2010 is to be. To not have judgement placed upon us for choices that we make...and to do things unselfishly for others but things that make us happy. I have little to no control on most things that happen in my life but I can control my attitude and outlook and view of the world around me. And I look forward to enjoying 2010 as much as possible...

Y'all know my love of music and so when I heard that Bob was going to be playing here, I had to go. So, I dragged an old friend along and off we went...& we had the best night! We sang and drank and danced and truly enjoyed some fabulous music & company! A special thanks to MB for making sure that I got home in one piece...the Captain and I both appreciate it. ;) OH! I don't think I posted about this *facepalm* but...in December, my cousin and I went to see this Bobby here & OMG, such a great concert. He sounds the SAME live as he does on his albums. And I was just...*swoon*. I think I have a thing for Bob's....

I'm still hitting up the gym daily...well, 6 days a week. And the jogging/running is coming along. I ran last night 2x for 3min increments and then a final 5min run. NGL, I was tired but I did it. I find that towards the end of my cardio workouts, it's easier for me to run longer. IDK if that makes sense or if anyone else experiences that. If so...could you LMK that I'm not weird. LOL!

My trip is officially 35 days away. I am so excited! Am currently searching for lightweight hiking/trekking shoes that aren't fugly. Not an easy task. I did get this backpack (yes, in russet aka burnt orange) and am hoping everything fits. I received my packing list yesterday and there are some interesting items! Taking the easy way out of posting topics, I'll probably post the places we'll be traveling to and through leading up to our trip.

Cheers to 2010!

Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up.

-Chuck.Palahniuk